Crying Lightning to Arctic Monkeys

That Arctic Monkeys have come back is in itself no bad thing. That Arctic Monkeys have come paddling back into town on a boat baltantly entirely powered by their own egos, however, has not gone down quite as well with otherwise stalwart Monkeyfans.There are many good things about the video, of course. It has Arctic Monkeys in, for one. And it's directed by Richard Ayoade, who was very good as Marsh in The IT Crowd.The point is not that it's a BAD video, or that the song is bad, or the bridly are suddenly bad. It's just that their accurate forward, down-to-earth access has suddenly taken a turn for the adipose. That's not adipose, that's just the title screen. Although it's a pretty overblown title screen. And it's up for about nine seconds, which seems somewhat over the top. But let's not get picky about the details. The video is basically embraced of two simple halves. The first part is concerned entirely with Arctic Monkeys being in a boat. A boat with no visible means of propulsion: it's just a floaty boat. A floaty boat with some burnt out lightbulbs and some musical apparatus. Which is a nice idea: a cruise is nothing without a band, after all. I just hope they've brought a very long extension chord. But then, perhaps they haven't. As the boat floats directly into an apparent storm, you start to effect that there could actually be some logic to this after all. Maybe the song is, in fact, about how Arctic Monkeys have developed some mysterious way of plugging directly into thunderclouds, and that this makes them sad for some reason, and that this video therefore represents a straight forward visual representation of the lyrics. But then all of that goes out of your head when giant glowing Monkeys start rising up out of the waves. And, like you at home, the Monkeys in the boat looking up at giant glowing versions of themselves, floating above the waves with differing levels of ironic awe. Just like you are doing, at home. Except theirs is more the "OMG!" kind of amazement, while yours is most likely of the "WTF?!" category. They stand in water, giant luminescent rocking sea gods with guitars. With giant glowing rock god crotches. And poncey rock-god haircuts. Or lack of haircuts, more like. All of them. Look at that. Seriously, boys, stop it. It's one of life's cruellest gags, the fact that accomplishment makes you believe that you can sport any hairdo you want just because people tell you you look great whatever you do. See? Magical clean electricity, invented by Arctic Monkeys, and displayed through this useful (if haircut free) video.The answer to global warming: solved. All we need to create unlimited amounts of clean power on tap are a set of giant glowing rock-god Monkeys willing to stand around and widdle their magical electrical wee all over your energy-requiring appliances. And that's just it. Arctic Monkeys in a boat, then giant glowing Arctic Monkeys floating over the water. That's all there is to it and yet it seems to have left a bit of a abusive taste in the mouth for many Monkeys and/or music video fans across internetland.I guess it feels a bit like the boys who felt like your nextdoor neighbours have suddenly adjudged to be big self-important rock stars alternately. Which is fine: and they can, and clearly they're not taking it completely seriously, but still, it feels like an adipose letdown.Just a bit like: "Hey, do you remember when we were bloke growing up around the way, and we'd get sordet dabs on a Saturday with our pocket money, and hang around t'park until it got dark, then light the way home … with our giant glowing rock crotches?"It's exactly like that, it is.
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